Nighttime Comics Lampoon Trump's Latest 'Gold Card' Visa Plan

Late-night's top hosts spent their evening ridiculing ex-President Donald Trump's recently announced immigration initiative, labeled the "golden visa," portraying it as a obvious pay-for-access scheme for the rich.

Colbert's Witty Take

Starting his program, Stephen Colbert offered a sardonic Christmas song targeting the president. "He's making a list, checking it twice, and then giving that list to the people at ICE," he intoned. "The President ... spoils everything he touches."

The focus was the controversial initiative which allows foreign nationals to buy U.S. legal status for an investment of one million dollars, with a "top-tier" version for 5 million. The program's page promises processing "in record time."

"A quick note for you to affluent foreigners: before you pony up, maybe think about Canada?" Colbert remarked.

He noted that the scheme is also designed to "squeeze cash" from companies wanting to hire foreign workers, requiring hefty costs. "That is a lot of fees, though if you sign up, you additionally get two free nights at a hotel of your choice – as long as it's the that one hotel," he continued.

"Unprecedented screening the government has ever done," stated Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "a $15,000 vetting to make sure these applicants completely qualify to be in America."

"That is important, you have to prove you're suitable to be an American," Colbert responded. "Question one: how many burgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Humorous Roast

On his own program, Jimmy Kimmel labeled the visa program the "Get Into America Express Card."

"This is a card that will allow affluent overseas citizens to live here," he said. "For a million bucks, you get legal resident status, you get a road to citizenship, and a presidential pardon for one serious crime of your choice."

"It might be time to update that message on the Statue of Liberty – forget about your huddled masses. Hand over a million bucks, you're in!" he added.

Kimmel lampooned the brevity of the application, observing it is "tougher to start a Wordle account." He remarked that Trump "believes citizenship is something you can sell, like a condo."

"Exactly, the finest people are the rich people," Kimmel quipped. "It's what Jesus always said! It's in the Bible. He says it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle provided that you give the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers discussing Economic Concerns

On another network, Seth Meyers addressed Trump's plunging approval numbers during financial concerns. "People gave Donald Trump a second term since they were mad about the economy," he noted.

Recently, in a attempt to discuss prices, Trump conducted a press conference in front of a display of food items, where he reacted oddly to boxes of cereal.

"These look great, I think I'm going to take a few of them back to my place and have a lot of fun," Trump said. "Such as the Cheerios, I haven't had Cheerios in a ages."

"Trump is so incredibly weird," Meyers reacted. "What do you mean, you're going to take them home to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What exactly happens with those Cheerios?"

Meyers wrapped up by targeting conservative media defenses of Trump's economic performance. "Perhaps rather than complaining, you should give him a shiny trophy like what FIFA did," he remarked.